The Doctor Who Wouldn't Look Me In The Eye

Before I moved back to good old Utah I had a couple other experiences I need to write about. For example, watching the show Parenthood. I have never had an interest in watching this depressing show, until I saw one episode out of the blue. I never understand why people watch such depressing shows where everyone’s lives are spiraling down and never seem to come back up.

As I was watching this show one of the characters was a woman finding out she had cancer. That’s what peeked my interest, not that I like to think about my cancer cause it doesn’t always make me exactly chipper, but the fact that I am seeing someone understand a little of what I have been through. Whenever I hear about someone facing cancer my attention is centered on them and the facts that are shared. Every episode I watched I wept with the character, because it felt so real, all my emotions were coming back and I was asked continuously why I would torture myself with this. I started watching this show almost religiously, it stole my attention and I couldn’t get over reliving my emotions, this is when I knew how much  I loved to share about my experiences with cancer, I love being asked questions about it and sharing my insight.

Most people that come up to me apologize and ask if they are being rude before they ask me questions about it. I am here to tell you that I love the questions and love talking about my cancer. It might have been something to tear me down, but now it’s something I have overcome and something I am very passionately proud of.

On to my next experience in Vegas, I was scheduled to have my doctor’s appointment in November, but wasn’t due for my scans until January. I was expecting some superb doctor like I had in Utah, but for me he wasn’t. I was a bit skeptical about this doctor. He was a nice enough man, but if a doctor can’t look you in the eye when he is talking to you we certainly have a problem. Whenever he talked to me he was either looking at the floor or/and squinting. Whenever I asked him a question he took nearly ten minutes to explain a simple answer. I’m sure he is a very good smart doctor, but he certainly doesn’t have what it takes to deal with patients.

Going to Vegas for appointments is a nightmare, they won’t answer their phones when you call and when you leave a message you expect them to at least call you back within that day or at all, not in Vegas. This is one of my many reasons why I wouldn’t go to Vegas for a doctor’s appointment. Another reason was something they post in their rooms so they are clear to read for their patients. (Picture) They are taking advantage of cancer patients! This is so wrong, like we don’t have enough problems now they are charging us up to $20 for a letter. This would affect me dearly since I was filling out some scholarship applications and they all include a personalized letter from the doctor. I understand we are taking a little time out of your busy schedule, but we you make more than enough for your work and this is part of your job. Luckily I got all my personalized letters in Utah which I got for free.

Where's Your Customer Service?

My mom and I finally moved to Henderson Nevada on October 20th. I'm not going to lie the weather is fantastic, but to move there? Well... It's not Utah that's for sure. I knew I was going to have a hard time adjusting when I found out they don't have Wingers and Grandma's Sycamore bread, for me those are essential. This move really did escalate quickly!

This was an opportunity to start over by meeting new people and getting a new job for more experiences. I lived in Vegas around six months, and ended up wasting my time and money. The only benefit of being in Vegas was living with my parents.

I did get a job at Plato’s Closet, I started working on super bowl Sunday and put all my energy and strength to focus on being a good employee. On my third day working they were having this super deal on a Saturday morning where the customer could put as many clearance items as they could fit in a small bag that would only cost $15.00. It was a very stressful and chaotic day. I was sure I was hired until that morning the owner came out to talk with me and two other new employees that if we don’t prove that we want this job they were going to let us go. I didn’t realize that they wanted a competition out of us. I have had no experience with customers and told my supervisor that I would need training on it. I was only trained on where everything was located and how to tag clothes, now we had to show our customer service by bugging customers with our smile and help. I felt like a fake teenage girl.

Since I wanted to keep my job, I worked and was always talking to customers and cleaning up the mess like everyone else was. In the end I got a call from my supervisor telling me that they were going to let me go because they didn’t think I had enough customer service. Ok, so If I wasn’t trained on customer service why was I being let go? I was too upset to hear her talk anymore so she only continued by saying to turn in my t-shirt and I will get my paycheck.

When I went in to get my paycheck the only employees that were there were some people I didn’t know, which meant, neither the supervisors nor the owners were there. What? They couldn’t face me to explain to me why they really let me go?

I should have applied myself more, but I didn’t. We as human beings all make mistakes and all have regrets, but even though I acted like a lazy bum doesn’t mean I completely wasted my time. I was with family I love and proved to myself that I don’t need to move to “start over” in fact, by moving I was just running away from my problems. It was time for me to get my old job back and move to Utah.

October 2012

On October 5^th, I had my last doctor appointment in Utah before I moved to Vegas. I was all smiles that day because I was feeling great and ready to get back out in the public fuzzy head and all. That weekend I was going to Vegas for the weekend again, it was also General Conference weekend. While I was at the new home in Vegas I got a text from my sister Jamie telling me that I could now serve a mission. WHAT? This was huge news for anyone who is LDS because now men could go on a mission as early as 18 and women could go when they reach 19. I had always said that if they ever changed the age for missions I would seriously consider going on a mission, but now the state that I am in I don’t know if they would even let me go until after my five year mark. I am still debating on going, but there is something that’s pulling me and telling me to not go…yet. I was screaming when I heard the news. I was upset, jealous, happy, jealous, anxious, oh and jealous! I know I still have time to think things over, but there is still a part of me that just wants to leave tomorrow and never come back. To live in service has always been a dream of mine, I’m not very good at it right now and I want to change that and a mission could help me achieve just that and more.
I started back to work the beginning of October. I’d like to say it was like it used to be, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t the supervisor anymore, sometimes it’s hard to see how easily I can be replaced even though I worked so hard to get there and always striving to be my best and having everything stripped away because I got sick. Most of my good friends were gone from the company and I was stuck having to start over as if I was new, but it was worse because most of my co-workers that had started new after I was on leave acted annoyed of my reappearance. This wasn’t where I belonged. Getting my social life was going to be something really hard to get back into.
 I did not expect things to be the same when I came back, but I also didn’t expect to feel like the underdog from my peers. No one really reached out to me and I was too scared to approach the people I didn’t know because of the stares I would get, so I clung to the few people who knew me and were friends with me.
I wanted a new start after everything so I thought I would move with my mom to Las Vegas on the 20^th. On October 19^th I had quit Ingram Medical after two years.