The Last Bell

On July 12th, Once again I had to replace my feeding tube. Another terrible experience. On July 17th I was on my last cycle of chemo. I decided I should do something I don't usually do. I decided on my last treatment on the 19th I would wear my wig. I got my wig a couple days after my first chemo treatment. That day I was feeling really sick as usual and when I was trying on my wigs I just wanted to go pass out. I hurried through trying on a few wigs and decided on one and left. I tried wearing it a few times, but honestly I hated wearing the wig. It was hot, itchy, and always in my face. I could care less about the wig. So instead of always wearing my wig I decided to show off my bald head. It really wasn't bad since not very many people saw me all the time, and I never looked at myself in the mirror because I was in too much pain to even crane my neck up and hold up my head, I always looked down.

So back to my last chemo cycle, I wasn't very strong but I did feel a bit of motivation to wear my wig and look a little decent. With that motivation I wanted to try eating little at a time. When I last tried grape juice it had no flavor. I knew that my radiation would destroy my taste buds for a while, but I had been off of radiation for a month now so maybe I could try something again. My mom let me have some of her chocolate ice cream, I could taste something but it was so rich and too sweet for me to eat.

That week my mom also gave me a present that was incredibly generous. During my treatments I didn't have a lot to do so I would sleep, check my phone, or have a conversation with my mom even though half the time I couldn't speak. She gave me a coloring book and crayola crayons. It gave me something to do and it was so simple to distract me from everything for a few minutes. It was something to relax me and gave me something else to think about.

That week I also had a couple of my eye appointments to figure out what to do about my eye that I couldn't seem to really open. I only had about five eyelashes on my top eyelid on my left eye. My doctor wasn't sure what was wrong with the eye so for precaution he plucked my last five eyelashes. It sure hurt, but I was also crushed cause those eyelashes were survivors and now they were gone. It would take forever to get my eyelashes back. He gave me some eyedrops to take eventually my eye started to get better.

July 20th I finally got to ring my chemo bell after having my shot from chemo. I knew I was going to have those body aches for the next four days, so of course I was still going to be in pain for another holiday, July 24th. I always had the worst luck on the holidays, so what else happened on that day? My feeding tube got clogged. I had only had it in for less than two weeks. I had to go hungry for another holiday. As usual, I heard the fireworks outside and saw Ashes run and hide, while I was stuck inside hungry, tired, and in pain.