A Little Loss For A Big Gain

As many of you already know, I am a Latter Day Saint Christian. I was born in this faith with good parents who taught me the gospel. I grew up learning about the Book of Mormon along with the Bible, and The Pearl of Great Price.To this day I believe in our modern day prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I don't drink alcohol or coffee, and I don't smoke, have tattoos, or dress immodestly. It is because I grew up in the church that I had learned these things, but I obey these commandments because I have faith in it. I'm not perfect but that only makes me human. I could go on in what I believe and express longer how much I love the gospel, but the reason I wanted to share this was background information for what I am about to tell you.

Every sunday at church I would take the sacrament and when I was a kid it was my least favorite hour on sunday because I thought all the speakers after taking the sacrament were dreadfully boring. As I got older and actually paid attention to the speakers and the sacrament became more meaningful to me, it became the hour I didn't want to miss. I'm not saying this because it's an expected answer of a good mormon girl. I'm saying this because I've re-evaluated my life. 

When I became diagnosed with cancer, I was never mad at God I accepted it and moved on. How could you hate someone who is just trying to show you something important. I know God had no intention of hurting me, but I think he knew I was strong enough to handle it and come out better than I was before. When I was going through chemo and radiation I couldn't go to church, so how was I supposed to get the sacrament? Luckily for a week or two I had some nice men come to my house who blessed some bread and water for me. Unfortunately, as the effects of chemo and radiation took a hold of me I couldn't even swallow so I had to go without the sacrament for a couple months.
I truly believe that you don't realize what your missing till it's taken away from you. In this case it was taking the sacrament, it meant so much to me when I got to return August 26th to church. I didn't hold anything back, so when I took the sacrament I did cry and it felt so good to feel apart of the church again. Even through all the pain, heartache, and effects I was still feeling it gave me some peace. I am so proud of myself for never giving up on my faith and my values.