Chemo Brain

It seemed as if everything was getting worse and I couldn't seem to catch a break, until I looked at the calendar. I was looking forward to June 22nd, which was my last day of radiation. When my sister took me to my appointment, I waited to take my medicine thinking it would be better to take it when we got there. Since I hadn't taken my medicine yet I was in pain and couldn't wait to take my medicine and finish this! When we got there, my sister tried to get my medicine through my feeding tube but it wasn't working. We tried and tried and it was just splashing everwhere, I was beginning to panic. I needed the medicine to get through this treatment not to mention the pain I was in.
We asked for some help from the nurses, they told me a trick of putting coca cola through my feeding tube to break apart what was clogging it. they also tried and tried and not even the coca cola was working. I had to replace my feeding tube, but I had no time before my treatment. I did not want to replace my feeding tube it was a horrible experience and I never wanted to do it again, I was afraid. By the time I calmed down I went in to do my last radiation treatment. As soon as I was in the mask I freaked out and started feeling really sick, how was I supposed to make it through this? Even fifteen minutes was going to be too long. Before they snapped me in I asked for them to take it off I needed to breathe and puke. They ran for the garbage can and I puked. I had to calm down again and finish this, my determination to finish was all I could think about then and I finally did it. I was still crying but I walked out and ran that bell! There is a bell that people can ring to say that they have finished radiation or there is a bell to ring if you have finished chemo. When I rang the bell I was also given some sparkling cider and a paper telling me I completed my radiation.
After I  finished I had to hurry over to the hospital to replace my feeding tube. Of course it was rough to get the next one as well, this time they told me that feeding tubes usually last three to four weeks, so really I would have no choice but to get a new feeding tube anyhow. The woman who did this feeding tube did it really fast, but put my new feeding tube in my left nostril this time, my left side of my nose was still tender and I was a bit unhappy about that. I still had my feeding tube in my right nostril when she started put my new feeding tube in, so of course I couldn't really breathe not to mention all my gagging again. When she attatched the feeding tube she finally took my old feeding tube out and I was on my way to go home.
My next chemo cycle was June 26th and something that many people don't understand unless you have chemo is chemo brain. Sometimes when I got chemo I would say things I don't remember. For example i had texted my friend Ashley that we should have a disney movie marathon. She had texted me back and she was coming over that night to come and watch the movies with me, but when she came over I don't remember any of that conversation but I was glad she was there. We watched one movie and the next one we started I fell asleep and she went home. I felt so bad that I had made plans that I didn't remember, but I felt worse that I fell asleep! I had many experiences like this through all my chemo. Drugs really make you do weird things, but this chemo brain made me stupid. Even to this day it affects me, I feel dumber than when I started highschool.