Getting Through the Negative and Moving Toward the Positive.

I've been dreading this posts for the longest time, but it's time for me write it down and finally move on.  I'll be honest it's not a very positive post. So to continue with my story, they found cancer in my hip. Well, there was nothing to worry about my eye, so they only had to focus on my hip. 

When I talked to my doctor, she told me that my cancer was back and will continuously come back. The way she put it was, " I don't know when you're going to die, or when your mom will die, or when I will die. We just have to keep fighting this and hope for the best, but this will probably be what kills you in the end." Great, now where is the hope? 

My mom was crying again, and this time I was too. So this is going to be my life? I may never get the chance to get married and have a family like most will, but I'm still hoping this will be a blessing in disguise. That's when I think of how lucky I am to know that life is eternal, even if I don't get a chance to have a family here on earth I will still have a chance when I die and return to my Heavenly Father. Don't get me wrong, I still have negative thoughts like when I die I'll be alone, or I get depressed because I want normality when I go to school, and I especially have negative thoughts about my worth. 

Now that I'm here going to school in logan I'm still debating whether to go see a psychologist up here or not. But I would like to leave this post on a good note so I will show you a couple pictures of when I got my scholarship from Ulman Cancer Fund and when I participated in Relay for Life! 

By the way I want to thank the riders who gave me my scholarship, and everyone who helped with the relay for life, especially my brother who participated in Mr. relay and won!