Fall Break Nightmare Part Two

The priesthood blessing I got was to me at this point more important than taking my pain medicine. I can't even count how many priesthood blessings I've had since I was first diagnosed with cancer. I might not be the most humble or the most righteous young adult, but when it comes to my faith I believe in priesthood blessings 100%. Sometimes I wonder what shape and condition I would be in if I hadn't had a priesthood blessing. It's not a cure, but it is so comforting to know that God will take care of little ol' me! 

This was one of the worst times to be in so much pain. I was supposed to take two major test for two of my classes the one week I didn't go to school. I never wanted to miss school and here I was in an awful situation. I wish I could say "ok, since I can't go to class I might as well study for my tests that I am missing". Unfortunately I wasn't even in that good of a situation. All week I was complaining about my pain, asleep because of my drugs knocked me out, and debating whether I should drop out of school. You could say I was stressed out without even studying. 

I couldn't believe this was happening, again! Before my classes started for the week I made sure to contact and e-mail my professors. I wasn't too worried about missing my English classes, because I could write an essay before they were due, no problem! When it came to my archaeology and biology anthropology class, I was in a deep whole. I was missing a week of class time that consisted of major note taking information right before the tests I was going to miss and I was going to miss precious time to study for those tests, not to mention these classes were my hardest classes I have this semester. I was very lucky with the professors that I had. They let me make-up the tests that I missed, but didn't give me really any time to study. My scores came in really low, but it was better to try than to not take it at all. It was an extremely stressful time for me. 

When I explained to my English professors why I would be missing from class, they went far off and beyond what I expected!  One professor made sure to let me know that I can come back when I am ready, and if I needed to turn my future assignments in electronically than I could do that. My other English professor pulled me into her office after class and asked me how I was doing and told me " just consider me your mom away from home" she wasn't acting as a teacher she just wanted to make sure that I was taken care of. It was so comforting to know that. I'm sure my mom would appreciate that as well! 

This experience was a wake up call when it came to my priorities. Even though I knew my cancer was back I should have reconsidered going back to college. I was just so afraid of letting my scholarship, my family and anyone who has had cancer down. I was afraid that people would see me as someone who couldn't handle my trials. I see so many people who are fighting cancer and they continue on with their lives. People are taking chemo and they are going to school or still working! I hated seeing everyone have such successful lives. Everyone was making relationships, getting married, creating families, getting their education, making a career, while here I was... No here I AM sitting in front of a stupid television doing nothing with my life! Although I know I should have not gone to school, but man... I LOVED it! I miss my education.